The creation and growth of human relationships among the various actors involved in accompanying immigrants toward integration was the most difficult and fascinating element of the project to evaluate, just as the most complicated and interesting topic in the academic literature was the phenomenon of migration and the dynamics of acceptance and integration of migrants in their destination countries.
If an aid relationship has some innate elements that can be evaluated to gage its effectiveness and responsiveness to the reciprocal expectations of the actors, the formation and growth of human relationships of respect, affection, trust, and friendship provide the possibility to study the human identity inherent in every person, whether refugee or part of the host community.
During the years of the study, human relationships were formed and developed that went beyond the dimension of providing aid. This is because refugees, social workers, and volunteers alike built up a mutual trust that later turned into friendship. Aid-based relationships, which were asymmetrical, and most easily defined in terms of roles and responsibilities, turned into friendships, which are, per se, more equal and less predictable. The tool was trust, built up from the beginning and cultivated over time, which allowed social workers, refugees, and volunteers to describe their needs and desires, become aware of their limits, seek other forms of help and support if necessary, apologize and move past misunderstandings, take others’ advice, understand new cultures and ways of life, and respect each others’ freedom.
While every personality is different, I was able to identify some factors that facilitated the formation and growth of personal relationships generally:
Volunteers were prepared for the experience of hospitality under the direction of the diocesan Caritas social worker team
Spaces and times were provided for social workers and volunteers to talk and work through issues together throughout the entire duration of the project or for as long as the refugees were partially or fully dependent on Caritas and the host communities
The inclusion of at least one psychologist in the diocesan social worker team, who was able to provide constant support directly to the social workers who had daily contact with the refugees and host communities
The permanent presence of a cultural mediator who, unlike linguistic interpreters, was not there only to translate from one language to another, but to explain their reciprocal cultural differences to all the parties involved and help adapt refugees to the Italian context
The creation of moments of discussion between the diocesan Caritas team and Caritas Italiana, particularly where technical problems arose, like illness or bureaucratic delays.
Not all these friendships lasted over the years. In some of the cases studied, the refugees abandoned the project, against the advice of the social workers and volunteers, who were left with feelings and disappointment. In a few cases the volunteers became so bitter that they were unwilling to be involved in future cases. In others, however, with the help of competent psychologists, disappointment turned into acceptance of refugees’ freedom, and an openness to take on further projects with new asylum seekers.
Interestingly, in one case where the mentor family and refugee family had become friends, only to have their friendship cut off abruptly when the mother suddenly left, taking her two children with her, the mother got in touch with the mentor family later on, asking them if they could help her come back to Italy, to live in the town where she had been resettled as a beneficiary. After following some friends from her home country abroad, she explained, she had found a lower level of “humanity and care toward herself and her children.”
